(The following is what happened when I sat down to write my résumé.)
Experience (See, Go Through, Undergo, Feel):
You will have to come to my house to see evidence of what I have done since I quit my last paycheck. You should have seen the yard when we moved in, a sorry patch of dirt and weeds but now, a lush green cave. Listen to the watery sound of the bamboo leaves blocking out the noise from the street. Have you ever seen a Japanese paper plant so shining and alive? That the horsetail has not invaded the neighboring beds is a testament to my vigilance.
Having two kids has been quite an experience. As additional evidence, I invite you to sit in our living room for one day; you will see our children’s bedroom door open in the morning to emit the daily tidal flow of flotsam and jetsam. See how I beat it back every day like Sisyphus, never tiring. And look at that spot on the floor in front of the kitchen sink, the place where my feet have worn the wood.
Every spare moment is spent there in that chair, writing. Look how the shape of my body has left a permanent imprint in the upholstery.
Skills (Ones That Don’t Come in Bullet Points or Sentences That Begin With Verbs Muscular & Vague):
My soul feeds on beauty and clarity. I will do it and re-do it and do it again until I get it right. I’m mildly obsessive-compulsive. I’ll go anywhere in my head, anywhere, and I can dwell in thought for hours at a time. I can feel the rhythm of a sentence. I have a knack with words and catchy titles. If I loved you once, I will love you forever. I don’t need to be in the spotlight but I’m happy to offer support. I tell the truth. I arrive early. I come bearing gifts. I listen. I am quiet and solitary and I don’t require much, like a cactus.
In addition to the regular school thing, I have read many books. I also ask questions.
Look at my thriving children. Taste this food. Read my writing, which should speak for itself. Ask my husband, my mother, and my friends.