I never lied to anyone. Not about anything important, that is. What some might call deceit I like to think of as artistic embellishment, an essential component of my quest toward self-realization. Everyone should get a turn in the sun. Even simple people like me deserve to be heard, don’t we?
Really, I’m one of the most honest people you’ll ever meet. For example, if you asked me whether you look good in those jeans, I’d have to tell the truth. I might not come right out and say your ass looks like a sheet cake from Costco, but I will tell you those jeans are not doing you any favors. No, I don’t mean you, I mean hypothetically. Ha ha!
The other day, I found a woman’s purse at the bus stop; her address was inside and wow, was she surprised when I showed up at her door. She acted like I was some kind of stalker. People are strange, aren’t they? No thanks or reward, just a door in the face.
I’m glad I accidentally kept her lipstick. Not that I wear lipstick, but still.
–the rest of this story is getting a makeover. if you want to see the result, contact me for publishing!–
Video Killed the Radio Star: