who does she think she is (chapter 16, part 2)

(painting courtesy Leigh-Anne Eagerton)

She has never met a fellow pedestrian along this stretch of sidewalk where the lawns are as stiff and green as Astroturf and studded with perpetual cheery blossoms, topiary with surgical edges, and fountains gushing nowhere, forever.  The heat of the mica-flecked cement penetrates her stocking feet.  She picks a sprig of jasmine for her hair and pauses to observe the pair of blonde Chihuahuas bouncing and shrieking at her from behind their vaulted leaded-glass window.  By the time she reaches Mae’s house she’s slick with sweat.  She retrieves the keys she hid behind the brass lion to get the mail from the mailbox and the large box from a florist and lets herself in.

It’s always chilly at Mae’s.  On her way to the kitchen she pauses outside Holly’s door to listen, then stacks the mail neatly on the threshold.  She arranges the flowers in a vase while the microwaves hums and then carries the bowl of popcorn back to her makeshift office in the living room.  On the coffee table there is a note written in Holly’s tight script.


A large portion of this chapter has been deleted.

To read more, contact me and we can discuss publication. (!)



About Anna Fonté

Girl in the Hat, aka Anna Fonté, is an author who writes about invisibility, outsider status, everyday monsters, and her attempts to befriend the neighborhood crows. The things she writes want you to look at them.


  1. “Depression is a form of narcissism”–I often think that, of how selfish it is to walk around like that. On days like that, I wear it like a badge of honor, at work, and don’t let those inbred f***s into my world; other days, some of them are my best friends ever. Another great idea for a bumper sticker or t-shirt, I suppose: “I take medicine for depression–it’s called COFFEE!!!” It really has become a joke at work, for me, and I think for a lot of others, of course, the whole “I’m not worth talking to until I’ve had my coffee” thing.

    Sorry to go on a little, but your writing makes me think and isn’t that what it’s all about? Well, that and money and praise, of course.

  2. 2&4&12B 9 14b 12A 7&16A&16B 14A
    15A&15B 11 3B 3A 13 6 10 8 5 1 –

    Depression? I think some may be selfish.
    Others may feel they are a burden to those
    around them or that they do not deserve
    the love they are given. I’ve imagined a
    character who has everything a person
    could want – but is very unhappy because
    they can do nothing to deserve their good
    fortune – they feel they can only take and
    cannot give enough to the world to justify
    their existence, or that by the very act of
    existing, they are causing harm to others.
    I.E. a waste of the resources that can be
    used by others.

    Just thought I’de share an alternative
    motive for emotional disstress, never
    know when you might need an extra
    one, (However many of the kinds of
    depression disscussed in the movie
    seem to accurately embodie what you
    are saying. Though some people need
    many kinds of love, unconditional love
    isen’t enough sometimes.) A person
    wants to be allowed to act on their own
    so as to occupy a place in society where
    they can be more then a pretty orniment.
    They must be allowed to build things
    others can use, produce things others
    can consume – To be loved just cause
    your there? Just cause your Human?
    Just because you were there for your
    parents to hold? The love, or at least
    the respect, that you earn from your
    contemporaries and competors can
    be something some cannot live right
    without. Perhaps that is why the wom-
    an in the movie is sad, she wants to
    show the world so many things but
    the world keeps telling her that her
    place is in the home. On a lighter
    note – if she were to forget about
    her closed-minded friends and focus
    on her still impressionable children,
    perhaps she could have changed
    the minds of the adults they would
    become and do her part in shaping
    the modern world.

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