The following list was one of those Facebook questionnaires that was circling around a couple years ago. I wrote this list shortly after I first started Facebooking, in that honeymoon period when my friends were all people I really knew and liked and before I realized that people think it’s obnoxious to post long, detailed lists about yourself. I’m posting it here at the risk of being obnoxious again because when your kid is home sick, there’s no time for writing.
P.S. Before you leave, would you mind please filling out the poll below? Thanks!
- I love oily, salty things—cheese, olives, nuts. I’d rather skip dessert and eat more dinner.
- Due to childhood trauma, I have a phobia of motivational speakers and personal transformation movements. When people start telling me about visualization or some self-help book they read, I have to force myself not to get all smirky inside.
- I don’t have a cell phone. I know, I know, you all think this is annoying and insane. But if I don’t like talking on the phone, if I cringe when it rings, why the hell would I want one in my pocket?
- I know everyone says this, but I wish I could sing. Like an opera singer, like K.D. Lang or Nina Simone.
- I am embarassingly uninterested in politics.
- Teaching high school English was the hardest thing I ever did. It was harder than childbirth, more challenging than grad school, far tougher than writing a novel.
- Speaking of writing a novel, I am currently writing my third. Nobody wanted to represent or publish the first two, but I plod on nevertheless. I just can’t help myself.
- I am writing this list instead of writing for “real.” I tell myself that it is “part of my writing process” or that I am “doing research.”
- I know it is weird, but some of the best friends I have are the books on my bookshelf. I mean, I’m not going to kiss them or anything, but we have had some indelible conversations that changed me forever.
- I am addicted to graphic novels. Yes, I love my comic books. I have a huge collection.
- Sometimes I think that I am a man trapped in a woman’s body; an ugly, nerdish, cranky little man. Sometimes we catch sight of each other in the mirror. We pretend not to notice.
- I am scientifically fascinated by my own aging process. Watching the wrinkles and the grey hairs emerge is sort of like watching a spider spin a web. Or maybe it’s more like watching a spider eat a fly. Or watching a spider spin a web on my face and use my awe-stricken mouth to catch its dinner. Really, really fascinating stuff.
- I am becoming an obsessive recycler which means I spend an inordinate amount of time obsessing about and fiddling with bits of paper and food scraps. Like a bag lady.
- Speaking of bag ladies, I shop at thrift stores, exclusively. And I’m not talking about some fancy consignment store, either—I mean I go to places that smell funny where you get your hands dirty digging in a bin. But that doesn’t mean I dress like a bag lady… the other day my stylish little sister informed me that the boots I was wearing were worth $300; I have not taken them off since.
- I have a strong interest in and affinity for everything that happened during the 1960’s. That was my era, man.
- I don’t play the lottery but my husband John does. The joy that we take from our long conversations about what we’ll do with the money when we win is definitely worth $50 a year.
- I have a nervous habit of writing things in the air with my finger–like air guitar, only geekier. I do it especially during arguments and it drives John crazy.
- I miss my husband, even though we sleep in the same bed. Did I mention we have two daughters?
- I had no interest in children until I met my own.
- I’ve done some really crazy, stupid, harmful, dangerous, dirty, boring, and silly things in my life, but I regret very little.
Please help me by doing this very quick poll! Thanks!