Help! Summer is here!

(photo thanks to CaZaTo Ma)

(Shhh…) 

Help!

My children have hijacked my life.

It happens every year in June and lasts until September.  They have duct-taped my laptop shut and cavort half-naked around it, brandishing plastic baseball bats and gardening tools and chomping the air with their sharp little teeth.   

I threw a box of popsicles into the back yard and when they ran for it, I grabbed the laptop and the box cutter and locked the bathroom door behind me. 

Soon, they will cut out my brain and dress it up like a hula dancer.  They will toss it back and forth over my lifeless body, laughing like hyenas. 

Oh, no.  Money won’t help me now.  Send sympathy.   Fast.

I wonder what gets in the way of your writing and how you manage to cope.  Have any pointers?
*

(photo thanks to Dave Bonta)

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About girl in the hat

aka Anna Fonté, writer of novels, short stories, personal essays, and bits about the neighborhood crows. The things I write want you to look at them.

20 comments

  1. Your children sound extremely imaginative, entertaining, and lovely, so I’m not TOO sorry for you :P. I’d say either get up an hour earlier or stay up an hour later so that you have some time to yourself to breathe and write.

  2. I remember those days. When it was too hot to play out, my kids loved to use 3D Movie Maker to create short films that had so much atomic farting, the speakers on the pc actually rattled. I wish I could say the whole kid/distraction thing improves as they age, but you basically go from changing diapers and picking PlayDo out of the carpet to worrying and obsessing about their ability to pay their bills and successfully handle the pitfalls of parenthood, themselves. It can be funny, but it can be sad too, when you encounter those moments when you feel that your dreams and passions are somehow diminishing your ability to mother them. If I could do it over, I would tell my kids early on that writing is my way of honoring my spirit, and I hope they find that for themselves. If looks could kill, my various laptops and notepads would look like a post-ambush Bonnie and Clyde.

    • Gotta love the atomic farting. Never gets old. I love what you say about honoring your spirit. It’s so true! And isn’t it important for them to see you doing that? I put a big sticker on the top of my laptop that says “love” so at least they’ll see that when they can’t see my face. I’m sure I’ll hear about that in connection to therapy later on….

  3. Think Virginia Wolf said something like – ‘ The pram in the hallway is the death of creativity ‘. But you’re a writer so you will find ways to write, and be mum too. Keep going!

  4. Sending a carton of sympathy your way! :D

  5. Much sympathy is being lobbed your way.

    As someone whose inner writer (inspiration lookout) can’t seem to adhere to a schedule, I’ve no idea what to do– unless you can get one of those extremely small tape recorders (do we use tapes anymore, or is everything done now with microchips?) Anyway, maybe you can surreptitously speak ideas, and snippets of story into it so they aren’t lost. Unless your delightful captors have banned that, too, in which case you’re…

  6. Hang in there girl in the hat … school will be starting before you know it :)

  7. I find insomnia helps. I write into the wee hours, then offer up my lifeless corpse as a plaything for the children the next day.

  8. Heat gets in the way of my writing – so I hate Summer for a quite different reason (no kids here); I would send you a block of the best, but I’m afraid it would melt before it would get to you!

    The way I handle heat is to cry. Alot. We are, after all, helpless in the face of the seasons. Then I dry my eyes, and drag out the fans.

  9. My little girl turned one last month and she’s a huge distraction. She’s more fun to watch than the TV and can scream louder than an atomic fart… I had this romantic view of me writing away on the laptop while she played quietly around my feet. Man, I had NO idea…

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